and imagine you're a girl just trying to finally come clean

Sun, 01 Feb 2004 15:40:24 GMT

new journal:

i_heart_sinatra

comment and ill add you, im considering friends only. i love you shane.

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 16:56:35 GMT

another snow day. nothing to do. todays mine and shanes 2 month so happy anniversary sweetie. someone please call me, im bored. i love you shane.

Fri, 23 Jan 2004 02:28:27 GMT

i have a heavy heart. somethings not right i can tell. i love you shane, i hope everythings okay. muah.

Sat, 17 Jan 2004 21:05:34 GMT

i had so much fun last night. i like listening to jessie sing in the car and shake her fist to "bringing a knife to a gunfight" it makes me smile like mad. driving around in circles shouting "BUS!" everytime we saw one while waiting to get shane was nice. being able to run up and throw my arms around him and kiss him in the middle of pontiac at night and knowing that im fine because my baby would protect me is nice. looking around the room and seeing some of my favorite people and laughing with them is nice. hearing jessie tell me that she really does believe that shane and i will get married and that shes never met two people that were more into eachother than us is nice. seeing that my friends are really happy is nice. my mom interrogating me about last nights events and threatening with her saying she followed us but knowing that she didnt and that everything worked out is nice. the fact that my boyfriend soon to be fiance soon to be husband is the best kisser ever isnt so bad either. hes simply..|sighs| i love you shane.

Thu, 15 Jan 2004 23:42:46 GMT

i miss livejournal. its hard for me to write in it know because of mother. |sighs| nothing new has happened. im going to make myself a nice new icon. i <3 you all. especially my shaney. muuahh.

ps. jessie bennett you need to call me!!!

is it always going to end like this, scratching names off the phone list

Wed, 31 Dec 2003 18:18:34 GMT

noisemakers, tiaras, fake champagne, and kissing my baby at 12:00 sharp.

i cant fucking wait.

'scuse the pottymouth.

too bad the fun doesnt start for another six and a half hours. |sighs|

i dont want to go back to school on monday. i dont i dont i dont. school scares me.

does anyone know when winterfest is? i need to know so i can let my mom know that im refusing to go on vacation if it interferes. i cant tell her why i want to go so bad though. it sucks, i mean a girl cant help if she just wants to get all spiffy to slowdance with her boyfriend. :(

im tired and i need to change my icon but im too damn lazy to take a new picture. speaking of pictures, im so totally bringing my camera tonight because i got a flash and shanes going to be my model and im going to get sweet pictures of danielle and will too. im so stoked to develope them and they havent even been taken yet.

i think im going to go watch some harry potter. im out.

Tue, 30 Dec 2003 03:13:29 GMT

i get to spend new years with the boy im going to marry.

|sighs|

everything bad just melted away...

Mon, 29 Dec 2003 21:03:38 GMT

im this close

{-----}

to having a breakdown.

Sat, 27 Dec 2003 21:33:12 GMT

im bored and i dont know what to do.

i hope danielle calls me tonight.

i hope kirsten calls me about tomorrow.

i hope i hang out with jessie and carly again, i hope they want to. :\

i hope i see my love soon. i miss him oh so much.

|sighs|

i love you.

Thu, 25 Dec 2003 19:39:47 GMT

well..
the clothes i got dont fit.
and my baby is gone all day.

yeah, merry christmas.

but hey, my camera is working and ive gotten caramel, cheese and butter popcorn in 1 giant bucket. so its not all bad.

i love you shane.

Sat, 20 Dec 2003 16:22:38 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANEY!!!!!!!

i love you.

i wanna kiss you every minute every hour every day

Thu, 18 Dec 2003 22:45:51 GMT

i have nothing to say. nothing new has happened. im still around, still in love with shane, still being antisocial. i hung out with carly and jessie though and that was badass. saw jessie today too which was unexpected but still sweet. i hope i get to see shane on saturday. its his birthday but he needs a ride from my house to joshs i think around 10:30-11. if anyone is willing to just do that i would owe you forever and a day. i feel bad asking but i have to do what i have to do. i love you.

Wed, 10 Dec 2003 23:31:00 GMT

well. i hate not having my phone. i hate not being allowed online. but most of all, i hate not being able to see Shane anytime i want. its killing me. i probably wont see him Friday because he needs a ride from Cluth Cargos and no one will get him |tears| i better get to at least see him on the 20th, his birthday. that'll almost be a month of not seeing eachother though. ::sighs::

im tired. really tired. its weird now that i actually get more sleep since im not talking to shane on the phone, im more tired. stupid.

shane had some dreams that i think he needs to tell me about. right about now. oh and i need a favor from jessie and emily so if either of you are reading this ill talk to you off of here because it cant be said so publicly because of certain people with the last name Dunne.

i need money. i want to buy my boy a real gift. :(

i finished my article on I Must Have. i think it turned out okay, justin read it. im adding a little bit more. its tough when ive only heard the band like once and that was awhile ago. if anyone has a demo of them if i could borrow that itd be superb.

i think im done right now. i love you shane.

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 22:24:39 GMT

whats happening to me. i just downloaded the milkshake song. and ive listened to it. twice. |hides her face|

someday we'll know

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 20:13:44 GMT

so..report card getting didnt go too bad. im grounded from computer during the week, and phone too probably. they took my cell too. phone is a way bigger deal than computer. i dont know what im going to do without talking to shane everyday for at least an hour. i mean itll be okay next week hopefully because mom will be at work but i dont know. and now i dont know if ill get to see shane next weekend because of this stupid family party. hopefully he can get here friday night because i know that i could see him then.

::sighs:: someone help me see my boyfriend..ill cry if i dont.

i still have like 11 pictures to take on this roll of film. i wanted shane to be my model for them but it was too dark last time and i dont have a flash. so i probably wont get them developed until after break so that sucks.

|gasps| i just remembered i had a dream last night that shane was planning on breaking up with me so my cousins took me to cedar point and made me ride on all the roller coasts that i hate.

i want to do something new with my hair so someone give me ideas. cut and/or color..im up for anything.

attn jessie bennett and carly laforest :
were hanging out over break and thats final.

Wed, 03 Dec 2003 20:37:31 GMT

fuck. this sucks. a c- on my report card, my mom is going to flip out on me. im going to get grounded so i wont be able to see shane this weekend, i hopefully will be able to next weekend, if not then ill have to wait until break ::tears::. of course, we just got in the most retarded arguement ever. i dont even know if it was arguement. he just wouldnt talk to me because i wouldnt tell him my middle name. I hate it and i didnt want to tell him now so he wouldnt talk to me and before we knew it he had to go to work. and i probably cant talk to him on the phone tonight. and ill probably get my report card tomorrow. so there goes phone there. computer too, so i wont be writing in here much for the next couple weeks either. i miss him so much, i dont want to not talk to him and that makes me so incredibly depressed that thats how our last conversation for awhile went. i dont know why i do this to myself. everythings bad right now. i know it could be a lot worse, but nothing is going my way. i just want to leave.

Sun, 30 Nov 2003 23:16:52 GMT

dear shane,

love, me

Fri, 28 Nov 2003 13:55:05 GMT

i stole this pic from 'suckerface' lj, i hope she doesnt care. i really like it though.

i know i know im ridiculous.

Thu, 27 Nov 2003 17:12:07 GMT

01] i _____ Chels.
02] Chels is _____.
03] if i were alone in a room with Chels, i would _____.
04] i think Chels should _____.
05] Chels needs _____.
06] i want to _____ Chels.
07] someday Chel will _____.
08] Chels reminds me of _____.
09] without Chels_____.
10] my memories of Chels are _____.
11] Chels can be _____.
12] the worst thing about Chels is _____.
13] the best thing about Chels is _____.
14] i am _____ with Chels.

if you love me please fill this out

Thu, 27 Nov 2003 16:27:02 GMT

well its thanksgiving. and im bored. so i guess one thing im thankful for is my computer. and tyler and courtney for talking to me and keeping me entertained.

seeing shane tomorrow. thats exciting. i hope everything goes according to plan. i think it will. park. out to eat. then kirstens. easy enough.

ya know i woke up the next morning and tried to convince myself for an hour that it was a dream.

sick, i hate the smell of celery. its so gross.

anthonys birthday yesterday, he got a car, thats sweet. i hope he had fun at his party.

i dont know who this brian bilicki person is, but i definately want to meet him after his article in the paper. i really like how he writes and stuff, and his article was funny. i cant believe hes just a journalism student. crazy.

i need ideas for an opinion article for the newspaper. just give me some controversial topics because i cant think right now.

im stoked, robyn got me some film so now i can take pictures and develope them in the dark room with her next week. im going to take some family ones today, then tomorrow ones of shane and kirsten and danny and cracknut and capt. destructo, then saturday ones of me and anthony, and then just some random pictures of things.

some people really make me happy. then there are those who dont.

Wed, 26 Nov 2003 16:25:48 GMT

okay so i had this dream last night, and i was walking into school and im thinking to myself.."im not supposed to be here! its break.." but everyone else is there too and i go up to sean cook and nicole horten and im like its break why are we here...and theyre like its not break and i yelled at nicole and was like "YOUR JOURNAL SAID WE DIDNT HAVE SCHOOL TIL MONDAY!" and ashley allport was like "YEAH!!!!" and then i was like to sean cook, "man i bet this is just a dream." and hes like "i hope so"..then the lights like went off and it was over. how weird is that.

thats when i fell for...the leader of the pack.

Tue, 25 Nov 2003 23:42:05 GMT

what do you look like?

where do you live?

who is your best friend?

who is your significant other?

what is your favorite band?

what are your favorite books?

what are your favortie movies?

what are your favorite scents?

what drugs have you tried?

favorite tv shows?

what is your zodiac sign?

what are your hobbies?

theyre never gunna give a shit about anybody but themselves...

Sun, 23 Nov 2003 22:32:57 GMT

so how many times have i gotten in trouble in the past week? id say at least 4. for sure. whatever. theyre lame. i love my dad a lot though. everytime id get in trouble this week i wouldnt cry or anything id just sit there and take it. almost like i was too much in shock to do anything, then he started talking to me about everything and i lost it. i just spilled everything. it was pretty sweet in the end. its nice finally just venting everything.

so friday i get to see shane again. so flippin' excited. ::sighs:: i love you. im hookin kirsten up too, with danny. i hope they like eachother, thatd be pretty rad but we'll see how it goes. i hope i see jessie then too. itd be like the sweetest day ever.

wednesday i might get to see anthony since its his birtday, thatd be sweet too. i miss him a lot. i wish he went to lakeland still so i could see him all the time.

bowling today. highest score for me was 81 like what. ha it was sweet hangin out with ashley, laura and joanie. i just met joanie today but shes really sweet.

and now im confused.

i stare at the writing on my hands

Thu, 20 Nov 2003 21:05:54 GMT

taken from hot_robot_sex.....
this message is addressed to everyone who is reading this post.

i want you to post anything that you want.
anything.
post a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything.

be sure to post honestly and anonymously, though.
post as many times as you'd like, and then put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.

lets paint another picture..

Wed, 19 Nov 2003 02:52:01 GMT

you and me, livin in seattle. drinkin coffee, listenin to the music and watchin the rain fall. actually. you'll be drinkin coffee, im not quite cool enough to so ill have hot chocolate, but i can just pretend. and when i look at you, i get butterflies..because i'll always get butterflies.